The wait, the expectations, the response.

Everything in life, I have always expected the worst. The worst case scenario will always playback heavily in my head as I conjure not so nice pictures and events and words to each play their supposed part.

You’d agree with me on this; having such expectations will cushion the impact of whatever you’re about to receive. Even if it is certain that something good will happen to me, I would have another negative scenario played out, because nothing is exactly sure in this life. There is always that odd chance however small, to turn things completely upside down.

I have had my share of bad news and good news in the past. But the attitude of me receiving them had always been linear; keeping low expectations and portraying the worst possible outcomes. So the effect of the bad news would be kept to a minimum (i.e, no breakdowns, emotional outbursts, etc) and the good news would be amplified. Seriously.

I tend to divert my readers from the title heavily before getting to the point hence, keeping in line with my usual method of conveying information in this blog. 

Regardless, I have received a reply for the email I sent to a particular someone weeks ago. But if you had known the contents of what I had sent, you’d be hesitant to reply. That was what I thought exactly. I thought the email wouldn’t be replied at all.  1 (or 2?) weeks passed and I received the email.

I can tell you here right now, I was scared all the way from the tip of my longest hair, to the soles of my feet. I was honestly expecting the worst kind of reply possible. A measure of sarcasm, sentences provoking discordance, and the bleeding venomous words. And that was the worst I could imagine.

But when I read the email (it was written in Microsoft Word!), a strong sense of relief curled around me. 

And my teeth sneakily came into view as a smile began to creep on my face. I took my time and slowly read the words, as how one would appreciate  finely prepared food in an exotic environment. As the words slowly wound its way towards the comprehending part of brain, a good sense of a high came over me. 

Yes. I was happy.

The email was much longer than what I sent. But I easily could’ve felt the dedication, and the measured use of words and phrases, and the effort placed in writing such a meaningful composition. I reread it again and again, to fully understand what it all meant. 

Did I forget to mention that, whatever doubts, worst case scenarios that were played in my head, were diffused in a mere heartbeat when I read the first word?

Suffice to say that everything turned out better than I had expected. It was the best response that I could ever get at all. Like gambling, instead of getting a pair of tens or waiting for the dealer to bust in a blackjack game, I had the blackjack combination.  The ultimate prize.